Kim Mattingly and Jennie Benes remembering when -- when their husbands, New York Yankees first baseman Don Mattingly and Seattle Mariners pitcher Andy Benes, were merely hoping they would one day play in the major leagues.

No fame, no fortune, just dreams.

The dreams came true, and perhaps now they take another step as they meet in the American League playoffs tonight at Yankee Stadium when Benes starts for the Mariners; perhaps one will make a little history at the other's expense.

Kim and Jennie have been by their husbands' sides for their entire pro baseball careers. Naturally, Don and Andy get the attention and adulation; inevitably, Kim and Jennie get most of the responsibilities of raising a family and running a household.

Both couples met in high school.

Don, 34, and Kim, 32, were married in 1979 and have three sons: Taylor, 10, Preston, 8, and Jordon, 4. Don went to Memorial High School and Kim, to North.

Andy, 28, and Jennie, 29, wed in 1987. They have a 6-year-old son, Drew, and two daughters: 23-month-old Brynn, and 10-month old Bailey. Andy and Jennie went to Central High School.

Andy played baseball at the University of Evansville in 1988 was drafted by the San Diego Padres, the first player selected in the June draft. The Yankees selected Don in the 19th round of the 1979 June draft.

Earlier this year, Don and Kim Mattingly and Andy and Jennie Benes talked about their lives together, and offered some insight to perhaps baseball's most difficult position: the player's wife.

Q.: You guys face pressure every time you play. But how difficult is it to be a baseball player's wife, with a home and family to look after?

Andy: "Jennie's job ... I can't even put a number on how many times harder her job is than what I do. She's battling the kids, she's being supportive for me, and then I turn around and leave for 14 days (on a road trip). That's hard.

"So, in the off-season, I feel obligated to be home a lot more, and want to be at home more."

Don: "That's the unsung part of baseball. The wives are staying home taking care of the kids and kind of running the whole show.

"Sometimes you've got houses in two different places, so they're taking care of two households and schools. It's not nearly what people picture it for them. Everybody looks at the wife like she's this princess who's sitting sitting on the couch all day long, not doing anything, just riding the wave.

"So they really have a no-respect type job. People have a big misconception about the wives."

Q.: Is that what some people really think your likes are like, that you're above pushing your own grocery cart or something?

Kim (laughing): "Should I pay someone to go to the grocery store for me?"

Jennie: "Generally, people look at players and their wives as having such a glamorous life. Like, because you make money, you're not allowed to have any problems or complain about anything. We've learned that.

"Once, this woman -- she's a good friend of mine now and we go to the same church -- she invited me over for coffee one morning after the kids were in school. She said she really hesitated to ask me over because she didn't think I'd want to come over. After a while, she was like, 'You're so down to earth and normal.' I'm like, 'What did you think I was going to be like?'"

Q.: It must be hard sometimes, though. Like when people approach you in public. Sometimes don't they go right past you - almost over you - to get to your husband and the autograph they want?

Kim: "Donnie's gotten really good about making sure that doesn't happen to me anymore. It's been rough to deal with, and it still happens once in a while, but anymore I almost have to laugh about it.

"I think that's why I've tried to separate from it. That's why I got into horses and ran the New York City Marathon. I'm still a baseball wife, but I'm also myself."

Don: "I think it's important for Kim to do her things and be herself. She has her own identity.

"It takes an awfully strong lady to be able to deal with getting pushed aside or having someone reach across her face to shake your hand. But Kim's a strong person and can handle anything she needs to handle."

Q.: Sounds like the glamorous life is like any other: There's some stress in it and you need some diversions.

Jennie: "I enjoy my dogs a lot (she raises and shows French mastiffs). Andy and I enjoy playing tennis and golf together (she was a varsity golfer and tennis player in high school), and I'm usually out in the yard once a day pitching baseballs to Drew or playing catch with him."

Andy: "It's important for me to encourage and support her. She's always the one dishing out compliments, trying to cheer me up and support me, so I encourage her if she gets involved with something or gets together with some women at church. I'm like, 'You need a break. Get out of the house. Do your thing.'"

Q.: How about things you can't really control - like when other people learn who the children's dad is? How does that affect your kids?

Jennie: "The big kids at school will say to (Drew), 'Is your daddy Andy Benes? And he's like, 'Well, yeah.' And they're like, 'Wow, that's so cool!'

"It took him a while to figure it out, but I think he's starting to understand now. To him, he's grown up in the baseball life, so it's not anything out of the ordinary to him."

Kim: "I think the boys have adjusted. My kids are normal and they do normal things. They're used to our lifestyle."

Q.: But that does bring up the whole issue of sons of major-league players playing baseball. How do you see that working out?

Kim: "I don't force them to play. If they want to play, great. It's no big deal. And people have been pretty good about it, but you will get one or two ... It people are going to compare my sons to Donnie at that age, then there's obviously something wrong there."

Jennie: "He's going to be treated differently. People are going to say, "That's Andy Benes' kid; let's see what he can do.' He's probably going to have to face that for a long time.

"But I don't want him to feel he constantly has to live up to something or to perform above the others just because of who his dad is. We're going to protect him as much as we can, but there's going to be pressure if he decides to play baseball."

Q.: And when people know how much money a ballplayer makes, that can create some big expectations, can't it? Even though you 've both been heavily involved with too many charities to list, it seems somebody always wants something else. How do you handle that?

Jennie: "It's been hard at times -- people not understanding and thinking we've turned our backs on them or that we've changed. We haven't really, but they just don't understand and they probably never will.

"You're not going to please everybody with everything you do."

Kim: "We've gotten to a point where we've set a limit. You try to accommodate as many people as you can, but you can't do it for everyone."

Q.: The profession is known for being hard on marriages. Do you think people are surprised you're still together, that you've found a way to make it work?

Kim: "I'm sure a lot of people didn't think we'd make it. But we've been together for so long and grown together.

Don: "We've lived through all the tough times in the minor-league cities: the bus rides, the bad apartments. So, we have a history in that sense."

Jennie: "If I'd met him as a professional ballplayer, I probably would have looked at him differently. But he's always just been 'Andy' to me, so I bring him down to earth a lot.

"When he's in the clubhouse, if he gets out of the shower and drops a towel on the floor, they'll pick it up for him." She laughs. "If he drops a towel on the floor at home, I don't pick it up -- I'm not going to do that."

Q.: But you'll pick him up, won't you?

Jennie: "Some of the guys leave everything at the ballpark; my husband comes home with it. But I'm glad he does, because he talks to me about it and I listen and I try to say a few positive words, and it makes us closer. He comes to me for advice, and we talk about everything."

Kim: "He used to come home (from the ballpark) mad and frustrated, because he takes it to heart. But I think because he's older, he's kind of gotten away from it now.

"And you look at things differently when you have kids. It's not that he doesn't want to excel at baseball, but I think his priorities of what's really important have changed."

Q.: As a player, would it be difficult if you were single and dating someone who knew you as a baseball player first?

Andy: "I think it would be really hard, if I wasn't married now, to take somebody seriously, because I think I'd always have doubts whether she loved me, or was it because I earned X amount of money a year.

"I know that's not the case with Jennie, because she loved me when I didn't have anything."

Q.: It's a unique life, isn't it? And maybe hard for people to understand.

Jennie: "I play the role of mother and father when he's gone. And then, when he's home, it eases up. But I really enjoy it. Right now, I don't want a job outside the home. I would be so miserable leaving my kids all day, every day.

"I'm so lucky I can do this, and I know a lot of people want to, but can't."

Kim: "Donnie and I are normal, but sometimes people won't allow us to be normal. Yes, we have nice things, but I don't think we flaunt them. And I know people think, "Well, you hit a ball for $4 million a year,' but we've worked hard for that.

"In the minors ... I know what I ate back then, not to say I was totally deprived, but I got tired of eating bologna and cheese, watching every penny, and living somewhere with bugs you could probably saddle.

"So I think all of that has given us an appreciation for what we have."

Copyright© 1995 The Evansville Courier, a Scripps Howard newspaper